RP209 #1. GOD'S DIVINE ORDINANCE AND PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE

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Index Size
FULL DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE INDEX 32K
Preface  
#1. GOD'S DIVINE ORDINANCE AND PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE 37K
Introduction 1  
#1.1 GOD'S ORDINATION OF MARRIAGE  
#1.2 THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE  
#1.21 It is not good for man to be alone  
#1.22 The wife is a helper for the man  
#1.23 In order to procreate mankind  
#1.24 There is strength in unity  
#1.25 As a type, to teach Israel about their relationship with God  
#1.26 As a type, to teach the church about its relationship with Christ  
#1.3 LAWFUL MARRIAGE IS NOT A SIN  
#1.4 GOD'S INTENDED PERMANENCE FOR THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP  
#1.41 Jesus commanded "Do not let man separate"  
#1.42 What God joins together is permanent  
#1.43 Marriage is a permanent covenant  
#2. DIVORCE AND SEXUAL IMMORALITY UNDER THE LAW OF MOSES 47K
#3. DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE TODAY WITH REGARDS TO WOMEN 48K
#4. DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE TODAY WITH REGARDS TO MEN 21K
#5. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF JESUS' EXCEPTION, "EXCEPT IT BE FOR FORNICATION"? 52K
#6. CAN A CHRISTIAN DIVORCE AND REMARRY FOR ADULTERY? NO! 57K
#7. QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ON DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE 63K
#8. WHEN CAN A CHRISTIAN MARRY OR REMARRY? 24K
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INTRODUCTION 1

In this section of the bible study on divorce and remarriage we will examine God's ideal for marriage in the beginning, and also some attributes of God himself. This will not only give us a basis for understanding God's ideal for marriage today, but will also enable us to establish certain facts which can be used to test the truth of our future interpretation. Scripture is not out of harmony with itself, but shows a great deal of spiritual consistency; the whole of it being inspired by Almighty God (2 Timothy 3:16).

#1.1 GOD'S ORDINATION OF MARRIAGE

GENESIS 2:7,18-25
7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.
19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every bird of the air; and he brought them to Adam to see what he would call them: and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was the name of it.
20 And Adam gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place:
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, he made a woman, and brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both bare, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

MATTHEW 19:3-6
3 The Pharisees also came to him, tempting him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said to them, Have you not read, that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?
6 Therefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, do not let man separate.

MARK 10:6-9
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God has joined together, do not let man separate.

Note: At the beginning of creation God made one man and one woman to be together as man and wife. They were to come together as one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6-7; Mark 10:8), speaking of a sexual union, which was capable of reproducing itself in the form of children. Anything outside of this original plan for man is outside of God's perfect will. Therefore, as God only created one wife for Adam, any man with more than one wife is out of God's will, and this is still true for the New Testament:

(1 Timothy 3:2) "An overseer then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,"
(1 Timothy 3:12) "Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife,"
(Titus 1:5-6) "Ordain elders in every city ...
If any be blameless, the husband of one wife,"

As God only created one husband for Eve, any woman with more than one husband is also out of God's will, and this is also indicated in the New Testament:

(1 Timothy 5:9) "Do not let a widow be taken into the number under sixty years old, having been the wife of one man."

God did not institute homosexuality here. It came as a later perversion, which is revealed by scripture to be against the will of God (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Deuteronomy 22:5), and cannot fulfil God's command to "be fruitful and multiply," (Genesis 1:28).
In the same way, lesbianism was not instituted here by God, but is also against his will (Deuteronomy 22:5; Romans 1:26), and cannot fulfil God's command to "be fruitful and multiply," either. If the whole human race were homosexual and lesbian, it would destroy itself completely within one generation, making it obvious that the devil is behind these perverted relationships (John 10:10).

#1.2 THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE

#1.21 It is not good for a man to be alone

GENESIS 2:18
18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.

Note: It is well known in the world today, that a human being welcomes other human beings with whom he can interact. In prison, solitary confinement, where this interaction temporarily ceases, is considered one of the most severe punishments. On his own, a single man would have no help to do the things which God had given him to do (See #1.22). He would lack the strength that comes with unity (See #1.24), and he would have no means of reproducing himself (See #1.23), although God could have done it another way. A man on his own would have no intimate relationship with his own kind, through which he could express and receive love, and which God could use to teach him about his relationship with God (See #1.25). So for these reasons, God saw fit that a man should not be alone on the earth, and created him a wife.

#1.22 The wife is a helper for the man

GENESIS 2:18,21-22
18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place:
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, he made a woman, and brought her to the man.

Note: The man was given the responsibility of being the provider (Genesis 3:17-19; 1 Timothy 5:8), while the wife bore children and looked after the home (Genesis 3:16; 1 Timothy 5:14). That seems to be the way that it has always been, and as there is far too much work in these things for one person to do by himself, God saw fit to make the man a suitable helper, which he did. Today, when each partner takes their proper role in the family, this makes a far better, more harmonious, working relationship, and is the way that God ordained it to be.

#1.23 In order to procreate mankind

GENESIS 1:28
28 And God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.

GENESIS 2:23-24
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

MATTHEW 19:5-6 (Jesus)
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?
6 Therefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, do not let man separate.

MARK 10:7-8 (Jesus)
7 For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh.

Note: The one flesh relationship, and the production of children, was prophesied by Adam back in the garden of Eden (Genesis 2:24). One of the main purposes of marriage is to have children legitimately, and obey God's command to "be fruitful and multiply," (Genesis 1:28).

#1.24 There is strength in unity

ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12 (Solomon)
9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him who is alone when he falls; for he does not have another to help him up.
11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Note: The above scripture shows that there is strength in unity with others, that one person cannot have by themselves. Other scriptures also confirm this:

(Genesis 11:6) "Behold, the people are one, ... now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do."
(Leviticus 26:8) "And five of you shall chase an hundred, and an hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight:"
(Deuteronomy 32:30) "How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, ..?"

For this reason there is strength in a good marriage relationship that is helpful to each partner, and although it is obvious that people can combine together in a purpose without being married, God has seen fit that this is the best way to raise a family.

#1.25 As a type, to teach Israel about their relationship with God

ISAIAH 54:5-6
5 For your maker is your husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and your Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
6 For the LORD has called you as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when you were refused, says your God.

JEREMIAH 3:20
20 Surely as a wife treacherously departs from her husband, so have you dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, says the LORD.

JEREMIAH 31:31-32
31 Behold, the days come, says the LORD, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah:
32 Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers, in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they broke, although I was a husband unto them, says the LORD:

Note: It seems evident that God regarded his relationship with Israel as a betrothal (or espousal) type marriage:

(Jeremiah 2:2) "Go and cry in the ears of Jerusalem, saying, Thus says the LORD; I remember you, the kindness of your youth, the love of your betrothal, when you went after me in the wilderness, in a land that was not sown."
(Hosea 2:19-20) "And I will betroth you to me for ever: yes, I will betroth you to me in righteousness, and in judgement, and in loving-kindness, and in mercies.
I will even betroth you to me in faithfulness: and you shall know the LORD."

Because a betrothal is a marriage in a legal sense, although not consummated, God could call himself a husband to Israel (Isaiah 54:5; Jeremiah 3:20; 31:32), and put them away when they were unfaithful to him (Isaiah 50:1; Jeremiah 3:8; 31:32; Hosea 1:9). However, this does not justify divorce of any lawfully married, "one flesh" relationship.

#1.26 As a type, to teach the church about it's relationship with Christ

EPHESIANS 5:25 (Paul)
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

EPHESIANS 5:31-32 (Paul)
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Note: For us today this is a very significant reason for a marriage relationship. Evidently the relationship between Christ and the church is also a betrothal type marriage, according to the apostle Paul:

(2 Corinthians 11:2) "I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."

Jesus referred to himself as the bridegroom (Matthew 9:15; Mark 2:19-20; Luke 5:34-35), and John the Baptist also referred to Jesus as the bridegroom (John 3:29). It seems evident that the consummation of the marriage, and the marriage supper, are still future (Revelation 19:7-9), where Jesus is referred to as the Lamb, and the church as his wife (v7). Once the rapture comes, and we know Jesus as he knows us (1 Corinthians 13:12), which is equivalent to the consummation of the marriage, then there is no possibility of him divorcing us or putting us away after that, "so shall we ever be with the Lord." (1 Thessalonians 4:17). This confirms that divorce is not permitted for any reason after the consummation of a lawful marriage.

#1.3 LAWFUL MARRIAGE IS NOT SIN

1 CORINTHIANS 7:27-28 (Paul)
27 Are you bound to a wife? do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? do not seek a wife.
28 But and if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such as have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:36 (Paul)
36 But if any man think that he behaves himself improperly towards his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, does not sin: let them marry.

1 TIMOTHY 4:1-3 (Paul)
1 Now the Spirit speaks expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of demons;
2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God has created to be received with thanksgiving of those who believe and know the truth.

Note: The fact that marriage is not a sin may seem obvious to most people, and the above scriptures certainly make that clear. However, there have always been religious people, who for some reason have forbidden marriage, and the apostle Paul indicated that this is a "doctrine of demons;" (1 Timothy 4:1-3).

#1.4 GOD'S INTENDED PERMANENCE FOR THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

#1.41 Jesus commanded "Do not let man separate"

GENESIS 2:21-24
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place:
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, he made a woman, and brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

MATTHEW 19:3-9
3 The Pharisees also came to him, tempting him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said to them, Have you not read, that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?
6 Therefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, do not let man separate1.
7 They say to him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement?
8 He says unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery.

MARK 10:2-12
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said to them, What did Moses command you?
4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5 And Jesus answered and said to them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this commandment.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God has joined together, do not let man separate1.
10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11 And he said to them, Whoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, commits adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she commits adultery.

Note: When God created Adam in the garden of Eden, he made him one wife only. He did not create spare wives for Adam in case he decided to divorce Eve, which shows his original intention for marriage; one man, one wife, for ever. It is not surprising then, when the Pharisees tempted Jesus on the question of divorce, that he referred them back to the beginning of creation, to show them how God desired it to be. He then gave the commands, "What therefore God has joined together, do not let man separate1." (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9). The words translated do not let ... separate1 (Gr. mh xwrizetw, Gtr. me choridzeto) are literally a command to stop doing what they were already doing. The word "me" is a negative, and the word " choridzeto " is the third person, singular, present, active, imperative, of the verb "choridzo", "I separate", or "I put apart". Any Greek grammar book should tell you that this construction is used for a command to stop doing what they were already doing, or to continually not do it (DFH p93; HPVN p84; WP p51). Jesus was literally telling them, "What God has joined together, let man stop putting apart", or "let him never put apart". (There are two exceptions: temporary separation for the sake of the gospel (Mark 10:29-30), and temporary sexual abstention with consent, for the purpose of fasting and prayer (1 Corinthians 7:5).) This is a direct command by Jesus, not only for men not to divorce their wives, but not to even separate from them, and was confirmed by Paul, who quoted this passage using the same verb "choridzeto":

(1 Corinthians 7:10-11) "And to the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Do not let the wife depart from1 her husband:
But and if she departs1, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and do not let the husband put away his wife."

It is obvious from this, that Paul did not interpret Jesus' teaching to include remarriage for someone separated from a lawful marriage partner (See #3.2 Stay unmarried or be reconciled). Thus any lawful marriage in the sight of God is joined together by him (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9), until death ends the marriage (See #3.7 Free to remarry).

#1.42 What God joins together is permanent

ECCLESIASTES 3:14 (Solomon)
14 I know that, whatever God does, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it: and God does it, that men should fear before him.

ROMANS 11:29(Paul)
29 For the gifts and the calling of God are without repentance.

Note: God is consistent, and he does not change:

(Malachi 3:6) "For I am the LORD, I do not change;"
(James 1:17) "the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

Therefore, when he joins two people together in a one-flesh relationship, it is permanent until he separates it at the death of one the partners (See #3.7 Free to remarry). It is done "for ever:" (Ecclesiastes 3:14), and God does not regret his decision (Romans 11:29). This being so, divorce does not dissolve the one flesh relationship that God has joined together. This must be obvious, otherwise divorce and remarriage could never be adultery as Jesus said (Matthew 5:31; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18), or as Paul confirmed (Romans 7:2-3). Therefore, unless a marriage relationship is unlawful, that is, fornication in the eyes of God (See #5 Fornication), then according to his word man cannot end it, there is no divorce for adultery (See #6 Adultery), or for any other reason. When God opens the door to a lawful marriage relationship, no man can shut it (Revelation 3:7-8).

#1.43 Marriage is a permanent covenant

MALACHI 2:14
14 Yet you say, Why? Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously: yet is she your companion, and the wife of your covenant.

Note: This scripture indicates that God regards marriage as a covenant, which he confirms, and becomes a partaker in, by making the two partners into one flesh (Matthew 19:5-6; Mark 10:8-9). All of God's covenants in scripture are permanent:

(Genesis 9:16) "everlasting covenant"
(Genesis 17:7) "everlasting covenant"
(Genesis 17:19) "everlasting covenant"
(Exodus 31:16) "perpetual covenant"
(Leviticus 24:8) "everlasting covenant"
(Numbers 25:13 "covenant of an everlasting"
(2 Samuel 23:5 "everlasting covenant"
(Psalm 105:10) "everlasting covenant"
(Psalm 111:9) "covenant for ever"
(Isaiah 24:5) "everlasting covenant"
(Isaiah 55:3) "everlasting covenant"
(Isaiah 61:8) "everlasting covenant"
(Jeremiah 32:40) "everlasting covenant"
(Ezekiel 16:60) "everlasting covenant"
(Ezekiel 37:26) "everlasting covenant"
(Hebrews 13:20) "everlasting covenant"

These references all show that, when God makes a covenant with anyone, because he does not change (Malachi 3:6; James 1:17), then he makes them "everlasting", and he has said he will not alter any:

(Judges 2:1) "I will never break my covenant with you."
(Psalm 89:34)
"My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips."
(Psalm 111:5) "he will be ever mindful of his covenant."
(Ecclesiastes 3:14) "whatever God does, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it:".

This being so, God sees our marriage covenants as permanent, and has commanded us not to break them (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9). Even if God was not involved with our covenant, it should still not be broken:

(Galatians 3:15) "Though it be but a man's covenant, yet if it be confirmed, no man disannuls, or adds to it."

An example of this is when Joshua was deceived into making a covenant with the inhabitants of Gibeon (Joshua 9:3-27), which he had been forbidden to do (Exodus 23:32; Deuteronomy 7:1-2), because they were Hivites (Joshua 9:7; 11:19). He kept that covenant, but hundreds of years later it was broken by king Saul, and when punishment for this came as a famine, in the time of David (2 Samuel 21:1), it had to be atoned for by the lives of seven of Saul's descendants (2 Samuel 21:2-9).
All this goes to prove that when God joins two people together, as "one flesh", in a legitimate marriage relationship, it is permanent until the death of one of the partners (See #3.7 Free to remarry) as far as he is concerned.

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